BANKIE'S HOT TAKE #14 - The MTN Dew Pitch Black Match
Last night, I sat down and watched the Royal Rumble event from the Alamodome in San Antonio, TX.
What a great night of wrestling. The return of, and winner of the Men’s Royal Rumble, Cody Rhodes was spectacular. Logan Paul and Ricochet nearly crushed each other after a double Springboard. Bianca Belair continuing her reign and Rhea Ripley seemingly being groomed for her opponent at WrestleMania by winning the Women’s Royal Rumble. And of course, the Bloodline might have the greatest storyline in modern day wrestling history.
But I’m not here to talk about any of that stuff. I’m here to discuss one of the more unique events of the night. I’m here to get thirsty.
Was the MTN Dew Pitch Black Match a spectacle or what?
—
I wasn’t entirely sold on the Bray Wyatt vs LA Knight rivalry prior to the Royal Rumble.
I’ll be honest - as a fan, there were a lot of shades of gray when it came to this feud. Fans have adored Bray Wyatt since his return to the promotion in September. Fans have also gotten behind LA Knight since leaving Maximum Male Models in the Fall. Both men came linked together due to a matter of respect and the road we weaved to get there has been nothing short of interesting.
With a mixture of typical pro wrestling storytelling, an ARG (alternative reality game), and the wild mind of Wyatt, including the introduction of Uncle Howdy, an entity playing with the mind of Bray, we made it to the Royal Rumble with a lot of questions.
Could Bray still go after two years? Who in the world is Uncle Howdy? What is a MTN Dew Pitch Black Match? Is LA Knight prepared for the Universe of Wyatt?
—
Well, I’m here to tell you, the match was…something else.
For starters, once the bell rang, the lights went into a lighter hue of purple and a neon fluorescent spotlight on the ring. I will say this, as compared to the red lights in the ring during the era of “the Fiend”, this was way more pleasant towards the aesthetic and to the eyes. This type of lighting treatment, when done right, looks awesome. It gave off the vibe of a horror movie.
Also, the gear on both men lit spectacularly with the lights. Wyatt without lights just had eye makeup on. Once the treatment hit the ring, Bray had this awesome glow-in-the-dark paint on his face and added in the creepy factor to a ten.
The match wasn’t necessarily the story this one; the story within the match was the tale. LA Knight was too brash for his own good, and completely looked overwhelmed with what Wyatt was. After some shots with the kendo stick to no effect, Knight tried to get some offense going, but it was futile. One Sister Abigail later, and the charismatic Knight fell victim to the enigmatic Wyatt.
Once the match ended, it seemed as if Bray went to another level, putting on another mask, preparing for even more levels of destruction. Knight kept trying to shoo him away with the kendo stick, but it was the second verse, same as the first: no effect. Wyatt took him to a platform away from the ring, locked on a Mandible Claw, and left Knight unconscious.
If things weren’t already weird, the next few moments made things bat-$#!+ crazy.
On a scaffold stood the infamous Uncle Howdy, a uniquely masked man with a Mad Hatter style top hat, all dressed in black. With arms extended, Howdy decided to JUMP. A giant elbow drop from the scaffold onto the carcass of Knight later, fire and brimstone took hold, with Wyatt looking to the sky. Behind him were live action versions of the Firefly Fun House - Huskus the Pig, Ramblin’ Rabbit, Abby the Witch, and Mercy the Buzzard.
This, most definitely, was a spectacle in every sense of the word.
—
However, as an observant fan, there is obviously one question that must be asked more than anything else:
IS THE MTN DEW PITCH BLACK ANY GOOD?
I mean, if a single drink can be marketed heavily on a premium live event, it has to be good, right?
I was not able to make it to the store to pick up any Pitch Black, but my friend and boss, Jon Harder, was able to!
After four different stops, he made it to a Wawa, where he got the last one.
Look at this happy soul. So joyous.
I asked him via text if the drink was any good. His response: “It tastes like a beautiful fall day. A refreshing beverage that hits the soul and really enriches one’s ability to have a great time.”
He followed it up with an additional text: “It’s just grape Mountain Dew. Pretty good.”
Hey, if he liked it, and if Cody Rhodes liked it, then it must be good.
—
For a sponsored match, the MTN DEW Pitch Black Match was a fun fight that was properly placed in between both Royal Rumble matches. LA Knight and Bray made the most of it, and it made for a fun spectacle. I’d like to see another one.
Could we next time have a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Street Fight sponsored by Taco Bell?
Just an idea. #BANKONIT
