The Sheik Tugboat Story - PART 2
PART 2
The following evening
Prime Time NBC
Black Friday
The Main Event
Brother Love
The Greatest American
Invites the Fearsome Foursome
To his world renowned show
“I
LOVE
YOOOOOUUUUU!”
My guests this week
Are four men
Who fooled the entire WWF
Are four men
Who made an impact at
The Survivor Series
Are four men
That have formed a
Powerful
Cohesive
Union
I present to you
The General Adnan
The Colonel Mustafa
Sgt. Slaughter
AND TUG...BOAT!”
Out walk the four individuals
Stoic
Proud
Single file
Tugboat last
No longer jovial
Now all serious
All business
Angry
Bordering on mad
The Man of Love
Doesn’t waste a moment
“Brother Tugboat
Last niiiight
At the Survivor Series
You did one of the most
DEVASTATING
Actions of all time
And DESTROYED
The best friend of
The Immortal
The Hulkster
MEAN GENE OKERLUND
Tell me
Brother Tugboat
What is the reason
The cause
The purpose
Behind your viciousness
Of that bald-headed oaf?”
A scowl upon his mug
The former jovial
Big Friendly Giant
Now cold as ice
The Tugger walks up
To Brother Love’s white mic
And unloads his anger
“WHY BROTHER LOVE?
WHY?
It’s easy why
When my hero
My favorite wrestler
My FRIEND
Went down with
THE MOST BRUTAL
VICIOUS
DESTRUCTIVE
Beatings of all time
I was there for him
I rallied all of his fans
All those Hulkamaniacs
And they got him
To believe in Hulkamania again
To believe in wrestling again
To believe in himself
ONCE AGAIN
And when I went down
BRUTALIZED
VICIOUSLY
DESTROYED
He didn’t do the same
FOR ME!
All he did
Was care about himself
HIMSELF, BROTHER LOVE!
He wasn’t there
Other wrestlers weren’t there
THE HULKAMANIACS WEREN’T THERE
The Hulkster let me down
And did not
DID NOT
Check on me once
But you know who did?
You know who cared?
THESE MEN!
The General
The Colonel
And the almighty Sargent!
These three men
Honorable humans
Men of conviction
All men who follow the lead
Of the great
The powerful
Saddam Hussein!
And when they came to me
To make an impact
We created a plan
A strategy
Operation Egghatch
And when I hatched
From that stupid egg
Wearing that stupid costume
We struck
On American soil
And I crushed
CRUSHED
The bestest friend of
HULKAMANIA
I was reborn
A NEW WARSHIP
A NEW WARRIOR
A NEW
TUGBOAT!”
The Sarge, General, and Colonel
Stand and applaud
The fans heckle and jeer
Some throw rubbish
Garbage
Trash
Right onto the stage
Brother Love puts the mic
To Slaughter’s lips
“Tugboat
You’ve proven your worth
To us
To Mr. Hussein
Therefore
In front of
All these PUKEAMANIACS
I have decided to award you
With a special honor!”
The General
Places a headdress
On top of the mulleted dome
Of the Tugger
They all salute him on the stage
“On behalf of Saddam Hussein
And the Iraqi citizens
You are now recognized as a SHEIK
In our eyes
You are NOW
AND FOREVER KNOWN AS
SHEIK TUGBOAT!!!”
Brother Love in agasp
“My brothers and sisters
SHEIK TUGBOAT!
All hail Sheik Tugboat!”
The Tugger stands tall
Proud
Triumphant
Off mic
You hear General Adnan
Ranting and raving
Hooting and hollering
THE SAME TWO WORDS
“TUGBOAT AKBAR!
TUGBOAT AKBAR!
TUGBOAT AKBAR!”
fade
to
black
Jon Harder
