The Sheik Tugboat Story - PART 9


PART 9

6 days later

At the end of

Superstars of Wrestling

Vince McMahon

White shirt

Blue tie

Blue vest

Blue blazer

WWF logo on left breast pocket

And Roddy Piper

All fired up

Wired to the 9th degree

ROWDY as anything

Closing out the show

“Well Hot Rod!

Tomorrow night

The last stop before

WrestleMania 7

And one hundred fans

In Los Angeles

Is the Super-Stars and Stripes Forever

The team of Sgt. Slaughter

And Colonel Mustafa

Face off against

The dynamic duo of

Nikolai Volkoff

And HOOOO!!!

Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Can America finally get one

On the Fearsome Foursome?”

“These evil son of unnamed goats

Have dominated the WWF

Like no one ever before McMahon

They are evil

Making us pay through the nose

I know

Nikolai will get

Down and dirty

And Hacksaw

Will take the 2x4

And stick it where

THE SUN DON’T SHINE!”

“Well, we do know

Who will be lurking about

Tomorrow night

The World Wrestling Federation champion

SHEIK TUGBOAT

And of course

The Immortal

HULLLLKK HOGAN

Let’s hear their comments

Before Super-Stars and Stripes Forever

HOT ROD!”

---

The transition

Transitions

To the backstage area

The Iraqi Warship

In front of an Iraqi flag

Iraqi headdress on

Championship over shoulder

Serious scowl on face

“Tomorrow night

My Sargent

My Colonel

Prepare for battle

Hacksaw

Nikolai

Prepare for destruction

America

This is a precursor

To what will happen

In two weeks at

WrestleMania 7

And if the mere mortal

The Egomaniac

Hulk Hogan

Thinks he will make

An impact

I will make him pay

And if he thinks

IF HE THINKS

He’s going to one-up

This Warship

He has another thing coming

Last time was a cake walk

This time

ALL

OUT WARFARE!

And if you get involved

Trust me

I will make sure you realize

TUGBOAT AKBAR!”

---

The scene transitions

To a dark background

A man

Back to the camera

American bandana

Blonde mullet

Flowing from the back

Army vest

Army fatigues

Huffing

Puffing

24 inch pythons

Running wild

A voice

Comes out

“It’s time brother

To take Hulkamania

To the 1990s

I’m going to war, jack

All rules thrown out

All bets are off

Whatcha gonna do

Sheik Tugboat?

Whatcha

Gonna

Do?

You want war?

You’re gonna get it, brother!”

He turns around

The Hulkster with

Fatigue face paint

A snarl

Death stare

The war has now

TRULY

Been taken up a notch

Super-Stars and Stripes Forever

Is the battleground

For Stage Two

-fin-

Jon Harder

jon@hardwayhq.com

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