What a 2018.
It’s been, for sure, the most up-and-down year of my life, professionally and personally. Obviously you would know that because of the lack of content on HardwayHQ.com.
Where do I begin?
A lot of my year really started and ended with Project: Diverge. The amount of overall stress has been nothing short of monumental. From piecing the product together to running the show to getting the content out, Diverge truly took the majority of my energies and allowed me to feel so much unnecessary feelings that by August, I never wanted to release it to the public.
All the talent worked hard and really brought it on 4.21.18 - I just grew to despise it because of external factors. I had one long term friend tell me that he “wouldn’t pay to see the show”. We barely have spoken since. I also lost my mentor in the business because of the nature of one of the performers’ vignettes building up to the show. Combine my stress and being yelled at in front of a group of performers, there was, at least right now, no turning back. And lastly, with complete burn-out set in and the producer completely spent with energy, it seemed like a colossal waste of time and money.
It wasn’t until I was saved by Scott Glazer and Nicholas F. Reigota that everything came to fruition. Project: Diverge is now online. In spite of the odds and absolute detest I had for it three months ago, these five episodes of Operation New Wave are the pinnacle of what a team effort could be. Add in Brian Belzer, all the production crew, staff behind the scenes, and everybody in between, I can call Project: Diverge a success.
However, with the entire year being an up-and-down roller coaster full of emotion, a lot of other activities have lacked. Writing and podcasts on HardwayHQ.com, especially during the Summer, has dropped off. With the exception of the History of the ROH Pure Wrestling Championship blog, nothing happened.
2019 will be the Return of HQ from the dead. Diverge not being up more timely for a Summer release embarrassed me greatly. I felt like I couldn’t show my face without Diverge being released. With it out now, I’m excited for 2019 wise. Nick and Jon will return. Revisiting Capeside will return. The Hardway will return with a vengeance. A plethora of writing is on the way. The Jersey Guy for Montreal Baseball blog is going to be strong. I’m legit happy to say that if you thought my writing was good before, wait until 2019.
Lastly, my personal life has been absolutely insane. I’ve lost in victory and won in defeat. I’ve lost in romantic love this year, but found out different types of love exist in so many different ways. It has also taught me to love myself more. That has never happened in my life prior to this year. I’m just proud that I’m on the long road to success.
I’ve also learned more about myself than any year in existence. I’ve not been myself for the majority of 2018, but I’ve come out on top in the most important of ways: happy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has changed my life for the better. I suffer from clinical depression and, trust me, the Summer was the darkest I’ve ever been. I don’t talk about it much, but I’m really in a good place for the first time EVER. I don’t believe in PMA or anything catch-phrase like that: I believe in me. And that’s a great thing.
Thank you all for being by my side, whether in person or online. I’ve been able to live my dreams because of your love and support of me and my projects. People have told me that it’s amazing that I still go and try to live my dreams. It’s humbling.
You ain’t see nothing yet. Not a damn thing.