The Sheik Tugboat Story - PART 2

May 22, 2020

 

PART 2

 

The following evening

Prime Time NBC

Black Friday

The Main Event

 

Brother Love

The Greatest American

Invites the Fearsome Foursome

To his world renowned show

 

“I

LOVE

YOOOOOUUUUU!”

My guests this week

Are four men

Who fooled the entire WWF

Are four men

Who made an impact at

The Survivor Series

Are four men

That have formed a

Powerful

Cohesive

Union

I present to you

The General Adnan

The Colonel Mustafa

Sgt. Slaughter

AND TUG...BOAT!”

 

Out walk the four individuals

Stoic

Proud

Single file

Tugboat last

No longer jovial

Now all serious

All business

Angry

Bordering on mad

The Man of Love

Doesn’t waste a moment

 

“Brother Tugboat

Last niiiight

At the Survivor Series

You did one of the most

DEVASTATING

Actions of all time

And DESTROYED

The best friend of

The Immortal

The Hulkster

MEAN GENE OKERLUND

Tell me

Brother Tugboat

What is the reason

The cause

The purpose

Behind your viciousness

Of that bald-headed oaf?”

 

A scowl upon his mug

The former jovial

Big Friendly Giant

Now cold as ice

The Tugger walks up

To Brother Love’s white mic

And unloads his anger

 

“WHY BROTHER LOVE?

WHY?

It’s easy why

When my hero

My favorite wrestler

My FRIEND

Went down with

THE MOST BRUTAL

VICIOUS

DESTRUCTIVE

Beatings of all time

I was there for him

I rallied all of his fans

All those Hulkamaniacs

And they got him

To believe in Hulkamania again

To believe in wrestling again

To believe in himself

ONCE AGAIN

And when I went down

BRUTALIZED

VICIOUSLY

DESTROYED

He didn’t do the same

FOR ME!

All he did

Was care about himself

HIMSELF, BROTHER LOVE!

He wasn’t there

Other wrestlers weren’t there

THE HULKAMANIACS WEREN’T THERE

The Hulkster let me down

And did not

DID NOT

Check on me once

But you know who did?

You know who cared?

THESE MEN!

The General

The Colonel

And the almighty Sargent!

These three men

Honorable humans

Men of conviction

All men who follow the lead

Of the great

The powerful

Saddam Hussein!

And when they came to me

To make an impact

We created a plan

A strategy

Operation Egghatch

And when I hatched

From that stupid egg

Wearing that stupid costume

We struck

On American soil

And I crushed

CRUSHED

The bestest friend of

HULKAMANIA

I was reborn

A NEW WARSHIP

A NEW WARRIOR

A NEW

TUGBOAT!”

 

The Sarge, General, and Colonel

Stand and applaud

The fans heckle and jeer

Some throw rubbish

Garbage

Trash

Right onto the stage

Brother Love puts the mic

To Slaughter’s lips

 

“Tugboat

You’ve proven your worth

To us

To Mr. Hussein

Therefore

In front of 

All these PUKEAMANIACS

I have decided to award you

With a special honor!”

 

The General

Places a headdress

On top of the mulleted dome

Of the Tugger

They all salute him on the stage

 

“On behalf of Saddam Hussein

And the Iraqi citizens

You are now recognized as a SHEIK

In our eyes

You are NOW

AND FOREVER KNOWN AS

SHEIK TUGBOAT!!!”

 

Brother Love in agasp

 

“My brothers and sisters

SHEIK TUGBOAT!

All hail Sheik Tugboat!”

 

The Tugger stands tall

Proud

Triumphant

Off mic

You hear General Adnan

Ranting and raving

Hooting and hollering

THE SAME TWO WORDS

 

“TUGBOAT AKBAR!

TUGBOAT AKBAR!

TUGBOAT AKBAR!”

 

fade

to

black

 

Jon Harder

Jon@HardwayHQ.com

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